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There Really is No Difference.....

(Blogging for over 10 years and I still write from the heart, unedited, and raw. I love all of my children. To the mom of boys.........)

For years I prayed for a girl. Years. God delivered......or ummmm, I delivered a beautiful baby girl on February 4th just 4 years ago. Wow, she is almost 4. Almost instantly, on finding out she was a girl, my life became filled with pink. Pink walls. Pink blankets. Pink dresses with pretty pink bows for her hair. Pink. Pink. Pink. All was pink.

Until she learned about the color blue, green, and red. Then she learned about numbers and letters. Somewhere, in between the letters and numbers, she discovered the infinite love of legos that her brothers had and her favorite movie became Ice Age.

Ice Age. The movie that my middle boy watched on repeat was now requested, (more like demanded) I was being watched over and over again by my girl.

Soon she got bigger and those pink frilly dresses got more expensive. Her hair grew and grew. I loved it. But, like most hair it just never stopped growing. So the hair styles became more exotic and they became styled for one purpose, knot defense. Bandanas were a necessity. Headbands became for only special occasions.

I freaked when I found out I was having a girl. I prayed for this child. I once was talking to a soon-to-be family member and explained how nothing ever happens in my favor and that I was sure something was wrong or the sonogram was wrong. "Stuff just doesn't work out happily ever after for me," I said. Maybe it was the hormones but I doubt it. My wedding was a catastrophe, the birth of my first child was traumatic and the scariest day.of.my.life. My middle boy came into this world in a day that I was so drugged up I hardly remember.

Zoey came into our lives and turned us all upside down. She was delivered early on a tilt table because a normal table would be......well normal. Zoey is not normal. She does nothing normal but everything is done in perfect Zoey fashion. She insists "her" numbers go 1,2,9,10. She doesn't have time to tell you the correct way because she has things she needs to do. Zoey means Life. Zoey's life is full of adventure. Adventure is everywhere. You either have to be quick enough to say 3,4,5,6,7,8 in between 1,2, and 9,10 or you missed out. She knows her numbers, it's just not her thing.

Tag, however, is her thing. On Zoey's first day of school, Zoey's teacher(who we adore), suggested we read together "Arms are Not For Hitting!" In which we replied, "ummm ok!" and promptly bought the book from the Amazon app on my phone and hung our head in shame. How did our gentle girl learn hitting? How? I didn't hit her unless absolutely necessary, As in, "No, don't touch the burner!!!" Her dad didn't hit her. He treated her like a princess. After some observation and hours of lost sleep (on my part) we realized she wasn't hitting. She was playing tag. Tag is her thing. It is also her brothers' thing. It was "their" thing. So, we stopped playing tag. :(

See, all those days I wanted a girl, I felt like I couldn't relate to anyone in my house. Why did I have this perspective?Try to tell me now I wanted this, just try, because out of everyone in this house, on most days, the person I don't relate to is "the" Zoey. Bro Bro gets her. Chicken gets her to some extent. My husband just has to look at her sad and she immediately will stop walking towards the stove let alone reach for the burner.

I know their are moms out their praying for their girl. One day, I might relate to Zoey more than her dad but really it's like that with all of my kids. They have rotated between my husband and I preferring one to the other. Zoey is no different. I will have my time with her but really, I have had my time with all of them.

There was the time I took "Chicken" to see my sister in a starring role in "Mary Poppins!" We then, for the next year, watched "Mary Poppins" till both of us could recite our parts. He was Bert and I was Mary.

There was also the time when "Bro Bro" ate vegan with me for a month, proceeded to start wearing tie dye, and hung tapestries in his room. He went to work daily with me. He even worked on math during the busy season as I jammed out to the Beatles until we both knew those lyrics inside and out. He was 8 at the time.

Zoey is still evolving into the person she is meant to be. We all are, really! Who am I to get in Zoey's way. (Let us be honest, no one could get in her way, even if they tried!)

So, to the moms that want the girl. Invite a teen to the mall, invite a mom to tea with her daughter, or shower a large family with matching outfits for all the pink ruffle lovers in the house. It will be somewhat of the same experience I have had. The girlie moments are fleeting and almost always lead by me. The real moments happen in between the tangled hair or "Disney World" girl moments.

The real times are...,,...They happen when all you ask of your children is to be present with you in the moment.

Dear Pinterest, I Can Quit You!

Dear Pinterest,

We Quit Birthday Parties! Don't believe me just watch. (HOLD UP...there is a song with those lyrics! I am including the video for your listening pleasure.....but keep on reading!)

I just can't keep up anymore. The last birthday party I threw almost killed me. I swear on the cake that cost me over $100 I almost died as I said goodbye to the last guest that left. I just can't! I. Can't. Do. It. Anymore.
  • The cleaning.

  • The planning.

  • The inviting. (Everyone)

  • The (more) cleaning.

  • The decorations.

  • The meal planning.

  • The meal cooking.

  • The entertainment!

  • The clean up.

  • The everything!
Look, I use to be a party entertainment organizer. I made tons of mula. I always walked away from each party, like, "Why would someone pay this much money for 3 hours?" Ohhhhhh, Now, I get it. Being a mom to 3 is more than 1. Ohhhh how my life has changed. Ohhhh how I wish I could hire my former self to celebrate with birthday parties, but I can't.

I can't keep up with the Jones. I can't keep up with the anyones for that matter and really birthdays shouldn't be about anyone other than the birthday kid.

So sorry, no goodie bag for you, and you, and you! I am not Oprah.

I guess this has been a long time coming I just didn't want to admit it.

So, we are celebrating in a different way.

I bought this mug.:Festive Happy Birthday 13 Oz Coffee Mug with Cupcakes and Confetti Great Birthday Gift

I bought this hat:Forum Novelties Happy Birthday Cake Top Hat

I bought this banner: Rustic Burlap Happy Birthday Banner

Grand total = $38.00 (and I know everyone is excited to wear this weird hat and drink from this special cup on their special day so it WILL be used more than once. Fo' Sure!)

These three things sit on my top shelf out of reach above my bed. You are only allowed to wear the hat or drink from the cup on YOUR special day.

1. You get a candle in your pancake.

2. You get to pick a family activity to celebrate your day.

3. You get to pick the meal we make for dinner.

4.You get banners that say "Happy" and "Birthday" spread across your doorway.

5.I will make you a cake made with so much love.

Birthdays are for celebrating the birthday kid's life with us on earth. Guess who has the next birthday.

She.is.so.excited. She keeps trying to reach the items on the shelf. The day will be so fun for her! She keeps asking and plotting on ways to get these items down. She even has asked strangers that have come into our house.

Birthdays are redefined for us, for now!

(Still plotting)

Not until your special day, girl!

It will be special. I promise. It just won't be obnoxiously crazy with 1 trillion people. The count down has begun and none of us are dreading your special day. We love you and we will celebrate you and just you.

What will we do? I am not sure BUT it will be epic and it will be a day celebrating the wonderful you that you are in a wonderful way!

The Jobs I have had yesterday....

The Jobs I have had yesterday....Have made me who I am today! Lauren Graham, who starred in Gilmore Girls, talked about listing all of her jobs in her life time. I decided to take her lead. In the process of making this list, I learned these 5 these things.

1. Never be to proud to hustle. We all had to start somewhere

2. Never forget where you came from. This keeps you grounded.

3. Everyone needs to pay a grocery bill. Even during the unhappy jobs we all still need to eat. Push through the unhappy jobs.

4. Be proud to have a history of working hard. Others are jobless. Choose to be thankful.

5. Somethings never change. One of those things......you will always need a place to sleep, a roof over your head, and a full tummy.

Chamber Maid
Popcorn Sample Giver
French Fry Maker
Dance Teacher
Clinique Sales Associate
Bank Teller
Actress at a Dinner Theatre
Birthday Party Entertainer
Foster Mother
Computer Teacher
Marketing Strategist
Toy Demonstrator
Word of Mouth shopping experience influencer
Event coordinator for social good
Civic Recruitment and Social Media Engagement Director
Tv Personality/Guest Expert
Food Network Ambassador
Travel Writer
PR and Engagement Director
Published Author
Tourism Spokeswoman
Social Media Strategist
President of a nonprofit
Director of a Musical
Retail sales
Organizer of house
Paid blogger

I started working when I was 13. There are over 25 jobs listed above. I wonder where the next 5 years of adventure will take me.